thebootydiaries:

east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work

west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land

(via thebootydiaries)

tsukum:

i hate when i go up north and go to restaurants and the waiter comes to take my order and im like “do yall have sweet tea??” and theyre like “no sweetheart but we have unsweetened iced tea and we can give you some sugar packets!!!” llike no you fucking yankee because now the tea is already cold so the sugar wont dissolve in it and itll all just sink the bottom and be nasty learn basic fucking solubility this is 9th grade chemistry thats why sweet tea exists in the first place you fucking heat the tea up to make it and then while its still hot you add the sugar and then you chill it and its sweet fucking tea i bet you pronounce pecan like peecan too you four seasons-having piece of shit

(via thebootydiaries)

lesbi-antigone:

hell will freeze over before i care abt what men think of women’s bodies

(via tahanialjamil-deactivated201810)

trainthief:

trainthief:

trainthief:

i dream of a world where it’s easy to tell people you’re gay and hard to tell people you’re going to major in film 

theres nothing wrong with film students but they should all be quarantined until like their 3rd year in the program. theres an option for an early release for good behavior in the 2nd if they can make it through a whole viewing of dead poets society without any comments about shot composition or how they would’ve done it better 

every once in a while though their probation officer drops by wearing a disguise and says “i’m going to watch princess diaries 2, want to join?” And if they roll their eyes theyre back in the slammer no parole 

(via tahanialjamil-deactivated201810)